What does that even mean, “on the ranch”?

It means I don’t like grapes and nuts in my chicken salad.

I like grapes just fine. In wine. And other places they belong.

I like nuts too. But not in my chicken salad. And not in my carrot cake for that matter. I like nuts to be crisp and toasty, not wet and toady. 

Often, I find myself in possession of left over chicken from a whole roasted bird cooked the night before. When this happens, there are multiple options on the table as to what to do with it. Sometimes, especially when we will be working outside in the heat, and I don’t want piping hot soup or steamy cheesy anything in the throes of a Florida summer, I’ll opt for a cool and refreshing chicken salad.

This version of a chicken salad is full of fresh, crunchy, flavorful things like celery, onion, apples, parsley, lemon juice and apple cider vinegar. And, as the name so cleverly insinuates, ranch dressing is pulling this whole thing together.

Yes, I make my own ranch, because I’m *that* friend. And if you’re going to make your own ranch, you must first make your own mayo. It’s a lot like If You Give a Moose a Muffin, except it’s If You Give Your Daughter an Immersion Blender, and instead of wanting to repair a button on a cardigan, she starts pushing her seed oil convictions onto others. 

But ranch dressing is a journey. I understand. I too used peasant mayonnaise and conveniently portioned powder packets for years. And I was happy.

At some point I began to lift an eyebrow at the monosodium glutamate and the palm oil, and wondered if I could do better. But only after acquiring aforementioned immersion blender, have I tackled whipping up my own ingredients. And yes, I love it, and yes, I recommend it.

Does it taste exactly the same as Hidden Valley? 

Not really. 

I use olive oil to make the mayo, which brings a bitter taste that I happen to like. I also throw in fresh garlic, which comes with a surprising bite, much like raw horseradish. It can turn out a little thin sometimes too, but that doesn’t bother me.

What I really love is that it’s truly a nutrient dense food rather than a guilty pleasure. There is so much goodness in a pastured egg, olive oil, quality dairy and lots of fresh and dried herbs, lemon juice, apple cider vinegar… seriously we should be putting it on everything! 

Anyway, back to the Chicken Salad.

Besides making the ranch dressing, it’s all chop and stir. Easy Peasy. In fact, if you have a standing mixer, you don’t even have to stir it. You can toss everything in the mixing bowl and let her do the work.

If you have some left over chicken, and love a crunchy, sweet and fresh, lemony, herby, tangy chicken salad, you’ll love it. The more finely and uniformly chopped your apples, onion and celery are, the more likely it is you’ve done your taxes on time. Grab some quality crackers and have a chicken-salad-cracker-kitchen-counter-picnic!